Looking to free yourself from good employees?

Tired of paying larger salaries to those star players?  Do those game-changing ideas make you toss and turn all night?  Ready to bask in the calm sea of busyworkers?

The solution is really very simple.

Here are 6 easy steps for freeing up your budget to employ greater mediocrity:

  1. Don’t thank your star performers. Ever. Even when they manage to pull a proverbial rabbit out of a hat, make sure that you take the time to point out every minute flaw. Give them detailed lists of how it could have been better.
  2. Pretend that all the good ideas are yours. Don’t give them credit for a job well done — no “attaboys” here!  After all, they do work for you, don’t they? If you hadn’t hired them they wouldn’t have the privilege of creating great stuff for your company.
  3. Treat them like children. Watch them like a hawk. Make sure they ask your permission for everything. Make sure they know you don’t trust them to make any decisions on their own.
  4. Bury them under bureaucracy. Make them jump through flaming hoops to get things done. Focus on outdated corporate policies that don’t impact the bottom line.  Make their projects suffer by committee. Distract them from their real work.
  5. Don’t reward. Make sure that you treat everyone equally. Give them the same 2% pay increase that the slackers got. Prove to them that their extra efforts are futile.
  6. Stifle creativity. Make them do things the way that they’ve always been done. Treat innovative ideas as dangerous. Smash their eggs before they hatch.

With the economy the way it is, unfortunately you may have to carry these overachievers a little longer.  But rest assured — as soon as the job market opens up, they’ll be off the payroll and out of your hair forever.

Oh, and by the way — your competition says thank you.

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